Prep the oven and pan: Heat the oven to 375°F (190°C).
Grease a 9x13-inch baking dish with a little butter or oil.
Cook the bacon: In a skillet over medium heat, cook bacon until crisp. Drain on paper towels and crumble. Reserve 1 tablespoon of bacon fat if you like extra flavor.
Par-cook the cauliflower: Steam the florets for 5–7 minutes until just tender, or roast them on a sheet pan with a drizzle of olive oil and salt for 15–18 minutes.
They should be tender but not falling apart.
Make the creamy base: In a large saucepan over medium-low heat, add butter (and bacon fat if using). Stir in minced garlic for 30 seconds. Whisk in cream cheese until smooth, then add sour cream and heavy cream.
Warm gently until silky, 2–3 minutes.
Season and add cheese: Stir in 1 1/2 cups shredded cheddar, 1/4 cup Parmesan, smoked paprika, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 teaspoon black pepper. Remove from heat. Fold in green onions.
Combine with cauliflower: Add the cauliflower to the sauce and gently toss to coat.
Transfer everything to the prepared baking dish and spread evenly.
Make the topping: In a bowl, mix panko, remaining 1/2 cup cheddar, 1/4 cup Parmesan, a pinch of salt, and 1 tablespoon olive oil. Stir in crumbled bacon.
Top and bake: Sprinkle the topping over the cauliflower. Bake for 18–22 minutes until bubbling and golden on top.
Finish and rest: Let the casserole rest for 10 minutes before serving so the sauce sets slightly.
Garnish with extra green onions if you like.